I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What happened to fro yo and sex?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
