who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
