question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
