dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
