she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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