Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
