So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
