I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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