i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
