I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
