so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
