I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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