I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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