Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
