the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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