I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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