I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
