I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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