ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
