i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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