This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
