If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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