Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
