So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
