Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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