Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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