A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
