she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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