That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
