In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
