i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
