so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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