Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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