brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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