God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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