Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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