I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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