I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
