if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
