i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
