wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
