I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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