i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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