she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
