By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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