What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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