Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
