its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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