I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
