so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So squirting runs in the family.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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