guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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