Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I would fuck him just for his dog
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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