Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
