I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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