people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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