So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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